Vespa Club of Britain forum

A young guy was out on the town when he wondered into a Pub attracted by the lovely piano music comeing from within. He orderes his pint and goes and sits down to listen to some of the most beautiful music he has ever heard. Then he has an idea. So he approaches the piano palyer.
"that was some of the most beautiful music i have ever heard" he says to the piano man.
"thanks, all my own work" replys the piano man.

"I'm getting married in a few weeks do you think you could come and play at my wedding"
"sure, why not just let me know when and where and i'll turn up"
Great thinks the young guy, this will go down well with the misses, i may even get laid tonight.

"by the way, what was that 1st track you played" asks the groom.
"ah, that was called - When i laugh i s**t myself - " replied the piano man
"I'm sorry what did you say"

"well if you don't like that one how about - i like to take my wife from behind and then come over her arse -"

Spitting out his beer the groom asks the piano man - perhaps not to introduce the titles of the songs as this may offend some of his guests.
After some thought the man agrees.

Now it was the day of the wedding all has gone well and they all sit down to the meal, the piano man arrives and takes his seat to play whilst the guests eat the lunch.

"AHHHHH i can't do it" shouts the piano man.
The groom rushes over.
"why whats wrong all these people are here to hear you play, i've told them how good you are"
"i Just need a w**k" says the piano man
"once i've had a w**k i'll be ok and will play all night"
"you dirty bstud, go over there in the toilet, do your business then come and play " the groom says disgustedly
So the piano man goes to the bogs for a quick nukkle shuffle, business done he walks out back onto the stage to start his set.
Half way across the stage Granny Murray stands up and points at him.
"hay you" she shouts "do you know Your cocks hanging out and theres spunk on your trousers"
"know it" replies the man "i f**king wrote it"